In the first few years of a newly wed's life, what do you think goes on? Do you think work will be easy, chores at home just happen, there are no problems or trials that come along with bills or callings? It is insightful to talk, and to realize just because you are now married that things will be happy and easy for both you and your spouse. When growing up as a child marriage is the farthest from our minds. I never really payed attention or understood till I had grown older. Some may have the attitude of because they are really in love, everything will be smooth and be happy all the time.Getting married isn't always easy. When you move in, there are many little things that you learn about the other that possibly did't come up when dating. Some example can be like cleaning habits, sleeping habits, do they snore, do they have a type A personality or type B personality, pet peeves and more. I have heard how a husband was a morning person and his wife was a night person. When he wanted to do things in the morning he struggled being quiet and when it was night time, his wife wanted to watch TV while his husband was trying to sleep. This would cause arguments between them.Three important topics I believe that will help any marriage work is One: trust each other,Two: work together, and Three: involve God.
First, trusting one another may be different from when you were dating and when you are married.A lot of people depend on themselves because when they were single.They just depended on themselves and didn't really have to answer to someone else. Once you are married, letting your spouse know when things come up, where you will be going can ease the other and shows you can be trusted.There are times when an activity come's up.There are some husbands or wives that would just leave without telling the other, and it could cause the other to wonder if they are cheating on them. This can cause problems and the trust between them can be smothered out if they aren't careful.
The second is to work together. Looking back on my family, I can remember each Saturday mornings after my parents would get back from the temple, it was cleaning and yard work day. Those were some of the happiest memories I can remember. I would watch as we all worked, Mom, Dad and the kiddos. If something didn't seem right with my mom she would talk to my dad and they worked together till both were happy with the results. I never saw them try to make the other do things their way,They would talk about it and I saw how happy it made them.
Third is to involve God.In the world today, there are many couples who aren't religious, and don't try to involve God in their marriage. They just don't understand how much God does for them or what he can do for them. My parents are a great example to me when it comes to involving God. Every Saturday mornings, they go to the temple early. My dad has told me since being married in college at BYU, their first calling was to be regular Temple attendees. He has told me even with how busy they were and trying to balance classes, jobs, taking care of kids, they picked a time every week and they went. To this day my parents are still regular Temple attendees. Another example that i have witnessed from my parents evolving God is their prayers. Every morning and night they will say one together, and then say their own after scripture study. I remember if I had a question for one of them and they were praying, I would wait quietly till they were done.
Marriage can be a great thing. It never was meant to be easy, but it is possible, and worth it. At the end of the day, if you truly love someone for eternity, there is no argument, no trial, or task, that cant be worked out and fixed. Even though i am lucky to have great examples in my life, I can't turn a blind eye when I know that every marriage doesn't come out on top. It is simply because of sin's, they give up on each other and their attitude changes and becomes selfish. An important question to ask yourselves before you propose, or get proposed too is : Am i ready to not be selfish and to really give everything when I have nothing to give because we will lean on each other and God?
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